After an unpleasant experience with a few people (two of which I had dated) I spent my Christmas holidays experiencing a mini-depression where I sat in my sister's basement and knitted, watched movies and overanalyzed my life. After a while I decided that 2011 was going to be the year of Fraise's dating hiatus. During my over analysis phase I realized a few things about me and dating;
a) Initially I love dating people I'm not interested in because then I can relax, be myself and scare them away with my inappropriate and uncanny sense of humour;
b) If I don't succeed in scaring my date away they usually want to initiate something 'more serious';
c) Watching someone's hope shatter as you admit that their desire to initiate something 'more serious' won't come to fruition because you've already 'friend zoned' them blows;
d) Feeling uninteresting when encountering someone who seems interesting blows;
e) Never having the courage to tell someone you like that you're hoping for something 'more serious' makes the whole dating game pointless and also blows; and finally
f) When you realize your self-esteem is being compromised by 20 or so unsuccessful candidates (that's how many numbers I deleted from my phone) a dating moratorium becomes necessary.
During my hiatus from dating I've re-allocated my time towards new and old friends by hosting keggers, dinner parties and dance parties in my new house. I've also had several good laughs by volunteering as a wing-woman for a few individuals in my man posse. I've attended cougar bars for fun, laughed at drunk 19 year old varsity sponsors at the Elgin Street diner at 3 in the morning, attended burlesque shows, film festivals, art shows, poetry slams, public book readings and various fundraisers. I've joined a running group and am training for a 10K race and then a half marathon. I'm planning hiking trips in BC and another solo-cyclotouring adventure from Sarnia to Manitoullin Island for this fall. In short, I've been having a blast, am very excited about my life and am feeling more appreciated and loved by my friends then ever.
Recently a few people have propped up and have invited me to engage with them on a level that might constitute dating. Although a big part of me is flattered at the thought of someone wanting to get to know me better the ghosts from my 2010 experiences are telling me 'don't go there!'. This week I said no thank you to going on dates with three different individuals. This is the first time in the last 2 years that I've declined a date and I'm feeling really good about it.
I'm not sure how long this will last but for now this Fraise continues to ride solo.