It's a hard sell....

I've never managed to integrate into the LGBT scene and as a result 'picking-up' tends to be a challenge. As luck would have it, I have a well developed, tight knit social circle that consists of 99% straight people (I have one gay man friend). On most nights out on the town someone from my man posse will kindly offer to be my 'wingman' to help alleviate the pick-up challenge I've encountered. I ALWAYS turn down these offers 'to help' because the whole concept of approaching someone with the hopes of 'more' makes me extremely uncomfortable.

In any case, last friday this friend, a drunk 6'2", white handsome male that I'll refer to as Cupid, and I are dancing when he suddenly yells out "this is enough! I'm gonna help you out!". Afterwards, my determined little Cupid storms into the crowd in search of a lesbian. His later admitted that his lesbian criteria was limited to the following: gay, under 40 and alive. How difficult could it be?

Who knew it would be so taboo for a handsome 26 year old white male to approach a group of girls to ask them "are you a lesbian?" The initial response was a 'gasp' followed by "you're such a freak!". If there was no 'gasp' he would proceed to say "Did you happen to come along with or know any girls that are gay?". If the initial question didn't get them then the second would always instigate angry womyn speech.

So Cupid comes back to my section of the dance floor looking pretty discouraged and says "I'm so sorry. It's a really hard sell...who knew?!" and then he spots her... cute asian girl dancing her heart out in hiking boots.

Convinced that the hiking boots are a definite lesbian cue he decides to refine his approach to improve his chances of success as a wingman. So Cupid inconspicuously moves in on her, dances with her, smiles a lot and eventually makes small talk. As she warms up, she gets a little chattier so he takes her over to me and with a HUGE grin he slurs out the words "I want to introduce you to my friend". Before I even have the chance to extend my hand and say my usual "Hello" she has already turned around to face him and starts dancing even closer. Cupid looks at me in disbelief and reads my lips as I mouth the words "NOT GAY".  Another lesson learned: sometimes straight girls go out dancing in hiking boots.

I've only ever rocked three hairdos in my life...

It started off as a ponytail. I'm the second youngest of six (or seven) kids, I'm quiet and shy, I have reddish (auburn) straight hair that's kept in a tidy ponytail until age 11. My sisters often try to convince me to switch it up by forcing me to sit still while they pull and tug at my hair to make 'french braids' and turn me off of femininity forever. Okay, so because of the sisters it's occasionally a little different but 98% of the time I  have a ponytail that my dad loves because he hates it when "tes cheveux sont dans ton visage!"

Then on picture day in grade 6 I submit to the requests of my female classmates and finally 'let my hair down'. Worse idea ever...The grade three teacher in my school, an overweight big breasted loud woman, yells down the hall as I'm walking to my classroom and says "Hey raspberry did you get your hair stuck in a vacuum or something?"lol

As it turns out, picture day in Gr. 6 is so devastating I make a decision to keep my hair in a bun every day until grade 10. The bun and my good grades earns me the nickname of "Professor" lol. I don't have a whole lot to say about the bun years because well...having a turd-looking hair arrangement on your head is bound to make your life boring.

So I'm 15 yrs old, I'm in highschool and everyone seems to have more fun than I do. I decide that the bun is to blame and that it has to go. My mom and I drive to Timmins where I buy expensive conditioner, get a hair cut and let the hair flow.

Now I'm 25 years old and on most days the hair is a bit crazy. It's like it has a multiple personality disorder and you can never really know what your hairdo will bring about. Sometimes it brings forward friends with 'curl-probing' fetishes, or comments like "did you get your hair stuck in a vacuum", or "would it bother you if I hid my joint in your hair".

In a way, I like the crazy mane because life is just so much more exciting when you don't know what's coming; buckwheat, Shirley Temple, Carrot Top, Einstein, or a hybrid of any of the aforementioned do's.

This is what's up...

I've always told myself that my life isn't unusual or crazy enough for the blog world....My friends tell me otherwise so I'm going to have a go at blogging.

10 things you should know about me (in this order);
1- I have crazy hair and know how to rock it
2- I have big hands and know how to work them (knitting, renovating, gardening etc...)
3- If you thought something dirty when reading #2 then we should have coffee together
4- Listening to CBC podcasts and cycling are amongst my favourite things to do (I also like long walks by the beach at sunset ;)
5- Will gladly go out with, have a conversation with and do odd things with people I've never met
6- I'm a lesbian who effectively pushes away any other lesbian that I'm mildly interested in....hence 4 years of singledom
7- I bought a house so that I could host larger dinner parties
8- My dancing is horrible but I insist on doing it in public AT LEAST 3 times a month.
9- To me, life is about messing up and then laughing about it
10- My writing skills are nothing to brag about....