Saturday, April 9, 2011

Johomo and the Witnesses - Part I

I have one regret in life and that was going through with baptism at such a young age. You see, JW's make baptism a choice by not forcing parents to baptize their kids at birth. Being an intelligent 10 year old who was eager to please my parents, I completed my religious studies, met with the elders for the pre-baptism questioning and a week later arrangements were made so that I could be baptized at the next JW Assembly in Quebec.

It's somewhat unusual for a JW to go through with baptism at such a young age. Most of my siblings took the plunge in their late teens or early adulthood. The reason they eventually caved and went through with baptism was because no 'good girl' or 'good boy' will ever date you if you're not baptized. At around the age of 10 yrs old I knew about as much about lesbian sex (or sex in general) as I knew about quantum physics and couldn't see any reason why I wouldn't go through with it. Clearly I lacked vision.

Had I only waited ONE year I probably wouldn't of gone through with it. That's right, at age 11 not only did I start reading the National Geographic and Scientific American magazines (before then I only checked out the photos), I also entered the confusing, hormonal period of a young woman's life that's known as puberty. Although the thought of having sex never really entered my mind, I developed a massive crush on my grade 6 teacher. Thanks to this crush, I started to do my homework to impress my teacher and to my parents dismay, I decided I wanted to go to university. What for? To be a lawyer.

Although I didn't realize it back then, this teacher crush was probably the first clue that I can recall indicating that I was a Johomo with the Witnesses. It would shock my family to know that I was 'diggin' the ladies at the age of 11 almost as much as it shocks my friends now when I tell them I've knocked on a few doors in my life. And no I'm not referring to your pussy.

Johomo and the Witnesses - Introduction

Nothing out of the ordinary has been happening lately so I'm going to take you back into the past with my blog series called "Johomo and the Witnesses".

Preaching by day, making out with girls by night was my reality as a Johomo Witness. Why Johomo and the Witnesses? I'll refer to this blog series as "Johomo and the Witnesses" because they (i.e. the JW's) wouldn't like it if I claimed to be a gay JW. It's kind of like how Irshad Manji pisses off muslims by claiming to be a muslim lesbian. Although I like the idea of pissing off the JWs, I'm an atheist and no longer label myself as a JW (i.e. pleasing the family lost it's importance). However, there was a time when I was a Johomo Witness (i.e. a gay JW) and I may mistakenly refer to myself as such during this blog.